watering a garden of ideas

006

2024-06-30

Hey you, happy end of June!

This month really flew by for me. Things that felt like just yesterday were really things in May or the beginning of June. It’s also crazy to look back at all 5 of my previous entries, because I more or less remember the state of mind I was in writing in each one. This newsletter experiment is becoming a cool landmarking tool in time as the weeks fly by.

Something I definitely notice is that the enthusiasm and excitement of starting something new hasn’t died down, but the vibe has definitely shifted. In my first few newsletters, I was pumped to finally write what’s on my mind and you can tell from the assortment of topics that I chose to write on. I was excited to commit to this 52 week experiment.

But now that I’ve realized the pace and what it takes to keep up with this weekly habit, I won’t say that my enthusiasm has died down but it is somehow different. Sometimes the topics I want to write about don’t neatly fit before Sunday rolls around, and sometimes I realize that I don’t really have a single topic in mind before I sit down and write this newsletter.

Nonetheless, that’s what this experiment is all about. I feel like being proud of oneself is an underrated and scarce emotion in my life. It’s just so much easier to bash my own efforts, and that’s a recipe to stop trying. A funny clip from ASAP Rocky comes to mind when he’s responding to a comment:

Nobody gives a fuck about what you do. It doesn’t matter. Yeah I’m trying things you tried it too. How you gon’ knock somebody in the world for actually trying to do something. Trying. Since when has it become not cool to try? Fuckin loser. Matter of fact, suck another dick.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ3glVNVvOg

It’s funny because before I started I spent a lot of time vacillating, hesitating, and fantasizing about writing like this consistently. And now that I’ve begun, there’s actually material for my brain to start sabotaging and looking for perfectionism. Irony.

a week into the consumption experiment.

Last week I embarked on a small shift in my life to control my consumption habits. Some small notes from the week:

I did read more! Just committing to the idea of reading as a more ‘default’ activity made me reach for books more than my phone this week. Something funny I did was I had a rotation of 3 books to cycle through whenever I hit a lull in reading one book for some extended time. It’s like doom scrolling but literary.
I still had plenty of screentime, especially when I wake up and reach for my phone. I’ve become more in tune with how my brain and body craves that stimulation first thing in the morning. From what I’ve experienced and heard from the research, doom scrolling first thing in the morning really sets up a shit day.
I’ve tried to single task on consuming more. I find that I can’t even watch a soccer game without pulling out my phone.

Overall, feeling like my identity drifted ever so slightly to being a reader this week.

gardening ideas in mini-essays

This past week I read Anne Lamott’s book Bird by Bird, a book about life lessons and writing recommended by a friend many years ago. This friend has gone on to become a creative powerhouse in my eyes, so I thought I would do my due diligence to learn more about this craft.

I’ve come across some writing videos this week about writing consistently, like Bird by Bird says. “Short assignments”, Lamott says.

My mom is a gardener, and every day she tends to her garden. She never knows what’s gonna grow, but every summer she waters and cares for her soil. Inevitably, some vegetables end up on the table. Fruits of her labor (sometimes literally fruits). In much the same way, if I don’t tend to my ideas in my mental garden, how can I expect anything to be produced? To have good ideas that come back to nourish me at some point, I better start watering today.

So apart from writing this little update newsletter every week, I’m gonna try to squeeze in some mini essays and random writing throughout the week. Not gonna put too much on myself, but I’d like to work on stuff I like and be able to refine it more than this newsletter. Will publish on my website if and when I get something out!

cool stuff 😎

Linux Ricing “WELCOME TO THE RICE FIELD MOTHERFU-” I want to dual boot my computer to linux soon. I’m sick of Windows, and it’s about time I set up my computer the way I want - after all, I’ll probably be spending a non-negligible chunk of my life on it!

little phrases, big changes! // reasons to read | Tim Demoss How I discovered “A Time to Talk” By Robert Frost. A poignant poem which I’d like to live up to more.

Central Cee On Biking & Wellness | British Vogue “Live Yours”. I really like Cench’s wavelength of life.

Brown University AVGE Spring 2024 Concert My best friend built this amazing community and club up from the ground up. Dreams really do come true, you just have to notice when they do.

Lots on my mind hahaha, but thanks for entertaining my brain dump.

-Evan